my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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