Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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