that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
