Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
