My hand turned me down
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's official drugs can't kill me
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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