I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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