im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
