White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
