summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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