are you so shy because you have an std?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
