You're so nebulous sometimes
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
