dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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