u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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