My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
His hands were made for my vagina.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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