My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
