i think my mom watched the whole time
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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