hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize