i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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