i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
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