i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
