Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
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