i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
