I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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