he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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