THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
