In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
