it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
