didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize