Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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