I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
