we have officially lost it.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
