he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
