Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
