How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
