My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
