the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
