to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The air was thick with penises
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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