no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
