your thong is hanging out like whoa
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg šš
Youāre not his type
Iāve got blonde hair and great tits. Iām every manās type
I think she lost me at about the point where the words āIce Cream Enemaā were spoken.
Randomize
