To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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