her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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