This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
