I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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