North Korea, Best Korea!
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
