no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
