I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant