New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
