dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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