i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
That's when you crack a 10am beer
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
