Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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