so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
