His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
