oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
