we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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