it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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