Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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