The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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