Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
