this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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