What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
