Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
